Autoimmune Disease (SLE)

Hey guys,😁😁😜

Recently I have received news on people whether its on the social media or the news that auto-immune diseases is a thing. Maybe on your country but here in Malaysia, yeah. One of my family members also has been diagnosed to have SLE ( Systemic Lupus Erythematosus ) which is one of the chronic disease within one of the autoimmune disease's family tree.

Lets be honest that at first I didn't know anything about the said diseases until I did some research on it. Systemic Lupus Erythematosus or its previous name, Discoid Lupus Erythematosus is basically similar to most autoimmune diseases but target mainly skins and nearby important organs of our body, which is why SLE patients usually are known to have visible skin rashes on their faces known as (Butterfly Rash) or some other parts of the body. 👀🤔

 ( Butterfly Rash aka SLE )

Lupus came from the latin word Wolf and Erythematosus came from latin word, meaning reddening of skin. 😊😊

It was Dr Cazenave in 1851 that first found a red rashes resembles like a wolf bite on one of his patients, and that was the time the diseases was named Discoid Lupus Erythematosus. Soon after a few years, it was found that the diseases didn't only affect skin but also affect other internal organs and some of our body systems. It was then changed to Systemic Lupus Erythematosus.

Nobody actually knows for 100% that how disease came into existence but some doctors were able to conclude a way or a theory of how the disease can be reduced. Some doctors had different opinions of how this autoimmune diseases are originated. Most of the victims consists of women rather than men. It seems to have a large tendency of affecting women since it has something to do with the hormone, estrogen. Despite that, some doctors thought maybe it has something to do with UV Rays, Hormones, Medication, Eating Habits, Genetics, and even surrounding Environment.

Let us now identify its symptoms..

Symptoms can vary and can change over time. Common symptoms include:

• severe fatigue
• joint pain
• joint swelling
• headaches
• a rash on the cheeks and nose, which is called a “butterfly rash”
• hair loss
• anemia
• blood-clotting problems
• fingers turning white or blue and tingling when cold, which is known as Raynaud’s phenomenon

Other symptoms depend on the part of the body the disease is attacking, such as the digestive tract, the heart, or the skin. Over time, SLE can damage or cause complications in systems throughout your body.

Possible complications may include:

• blood clots and inflammation of blood vessels
• inflammation of the heart
• a heart attack
• a stroke
• memory changes
• behavioral changes
• seizures
• inflammation of lung tissue and the lining of the lung
• kidney inflammation
• decreased kidney function
• kidney failure

SLE can have serious negative effects on your body during pregnancy. It can lead to pregnancy complications and even miscarriage. I would actually wonder as how would those SLE victims, or in this case my cousin felt once being diagnosed to have SLE. Its is so unfortunate of her. I will probably update more of her latest condition soon.

In the meantime, lets us all pray for her safety. Thank you

Beggar

I'm not sure if I'm the only one felt this way but every time I saw a beggars, children selling typical stuffs or some torn out woman/man came up to me asking for donations or money, I always had this inner urge to just let them sit down near me and talk about their life. How long they have been doing as such and how did they manage to generate an income to just survive the harsh world out here. Somewhere deep in my mind Im thinking of from their perspective like how did they made money, what is their goals, what is their motivation, what is their overall motives and what are their hopes for their future and probably their children. Generally all about it, made me curious.

I had this kind of thinking is because near my place, there was a city dumpster. This dumpster was located a few metres from my house and everytime I went out. I saw people look around 24-30 was basically scavenging for goods there. Every single day I kept my eye carefully on these people from what they do and when they came for scavenging. Slowly, I noticed that they came there every single day, scavenging and even to the point of going inside the dumpster looking for goods. It stinks yeah I know and to know that there's people out there willing to do such thing is kinda made me surprised. Heck, people do anything to survive I guess.

Anyhow, there was one day where I went outside early for Sahur, at a restaurant nearby. On my way back, I found that an elderly woman and a young man was sleeping at an alleyway in a box of cardboards. They were just waking up for Sahur as well. I really wanted to just walk up to them and ask them about themselves but somehow my inner self were so declining because of their smell when I decided to approach. It was soo barely bearable and I just went home afterwards. As I peek out of the window, I noticed that the elderly woman surely was sick. She was coughing a lot and it was kinda loud when she did.

Geez tell me, who doesnt get sick when you regularly hangout near a dumpster. She also looked like she didn't took a bathe for weeks. Haih.. I felt this swell of pity to those people seriously. Sincerely I really do. But considering my position and with I am now, I don't think I am qualify to do anything for those two let alone helping them when I barely able to help myself with my problems. Im not even sure what I can do help them either.

I do have a wish like joining non-government association in helping those people, but im not even sure myself where to start and where to apply. Knowing that, I just start to just do some one random act of kindness at a time, like donating a lot and even share some of my foods to those nearby beggars on the pasar malam. I have high hopes that I would instill great values within myself which who knows one day, maybe I could make an organisation of my own.

Ahhh, would it be great if I ever had one kan? 

Oh well, maybe I could and maybe I couldnt kan? Its for a good cause kot. Anyhow, cheers to that dream of mine. Hope one day it can be fulfilled.

Fear

I had overthinking took over myself these past few days and I generally went into deep slumber after getting my a few days holiday right before I started back to work again. Being at home alone, really puts my mind to all sorts of imagination and wild thoughts of myself about everything that happens in life. I can't stop it soo I just go on with my twisted head and eventually, I beginning to really identify what are my fears in life.

Everybody is at least afraid of something whether be a ghost, a failure, heights, or even something thats completely different from anybody elses. I had lots of fear and trust me they are all self-related fears that sometimes engulf me into deep thoughts.

I come to know that I fear of losing someone/somebody I cherishes the most. Yes! A loved one. I was afraid of losing that. For someone who didn't really get to experience being in a relationship, I found myself to be devastated that I do. I had lost someone who I thought the world of before. Someone who I thought would stay with me for the rest of my life. Someone who could never break a trust. Someone who I thought were as innocent as they looks. All of that, I lost all of that. I thought that such things like getting heartbroken or getting betrayed only happen in those melodramas but then I was enlightened that they really do exist. I was such a fool.

Of course getting through the whole process was never such an easy task. I had zero appetite for 2 straight weeks and my mind was like on a different realm on its own. I skipped work for a few days without reason. I didn't really talk to anybody. I was losing weight drastically cause of no appetite and my mind was never at ease. I cried soo much in front of my solat asking if I ever did something wrong that God made me endure so much pain and despair.

I played sad songs every single day on my piano while shedding tears reflecting that what I have done that was soo wrong. My face were so bloated and black wrinkles and marks starting to appear under my eyes cause of lack of sleep. The only food I ate was all Instant noodles of different flavor. One day, I felt that my hands and legs were shaking uncontrollably when I woke up from sleep. It was so weird and it felt so wrong that I rush to nearby restaurant to get some rice to eat.

It stopped eventually. It was such a scary experience that I began reflecting again on my pathetic self. I began to man up a little bit and slowly forgetting the whole breaking-up thing. It was hard since there were so much to remember but Alhamdulillah I manage to go through the whole process on my own. During that course of moving on, I come to realise that it was my own expectation that just destroys me from the inside. I expect too much from someone who is not even worth my time. I blindly trust people without finding out their background and I was putting so much love and effort for someone who barely cares about me.

However, I learned my lesson now and I guess the new me was prepared for such circumstances if it were ever to take place again. I am happy and much more grateful now, and I knew I will lasts but I am still afraid especially to think if such things to take place again. It pains me to just imagine it. Ughhh! Overthinking please go away.

Introvert

I believe having a healthy mind is a top priority at least for myself. A healthy mind leads to a healthy life and to be at peace with yourself is what I believe to be our goal during the limited time we have on this planet but in order to achieve a healthy mind, you must first understand how your specific one works and accepting that you may be different from others, which I felt is 100% okay. I am an introvert or at least I believe I fall somewhere in that category. Not to be confused with antisocial or be simplified as shyness, introversion can be misinterpreted by those who are unaware of it and by no means am I an expert on this topic. I'm just hyper self-aware and this is what I know.

To understand introversion and its counterpart, extroversion, you must see it as a result of what drains and recovers your energy. Introverts lose energy from being around people for long periods and recharge their energy by spending time alone. Extroverts are the opposite where they tire from being alone and recharge by being social is very rare to be strictly one or the other. We all fall at different ranges on the spectrum. I enjoy being alone.

Well not all the time but I have lots of hobbies that can be done alone and those times in solitude are a great way for me to reflect on myself in whatever current obstacles. I'm trying to overcome whether it be relationship matters career matters ideas for new blog posts. I enjoy just thinking about things. If you ever hang out with me and notice that I'm just staring blankly at your elbow and you ask me.

" Hey dude, whatcha thinking about? " 

and I reply..

" Nothing "

I probably mean I forgot because I have been so deep in mental isolation that I can't figure out how to verbalize my thoughts.

Why do killer whales get the killer prefix when so may other sea animals are predators as well? Don't most fish kill and eat other fish below their food chain? Hey fun facts, killer whales are not even whales, they're dolphins dowh!

" Why do people leave mean comments on social medias? " 

It might be because they are damaged in some way and are using you as an outlet to project those insecurities or they lack the empathy to understand the emotional consequences of their words and anonymity on the internet gives them a false sense of invincibility a taste of the nectar unavailable to them in the real world.

" I like this girl. Why doesn't she like me back? " 

Its maybe because your self entitlement has blinded you from understanding that it is not your place to complain about people criteria for attraction and that romantic reciprocity is never guaranteed. You just ain't got the sauce, accept it.

See? These things on my mind are what I meant. I mean yes I enjoy having company and being around others as well, but there are things about isolation that I just appreciate. Some of you might not understand the appeal because you may directly correlate seclusion with loneliness. If you are alone, you must be lonely and being lonely is bad.

That's not true at all.

You can be in a dense population and still feel lonely. Growing up I found myself in all sorts of groups and situations where I felt lonely despite being surrounded by people. Physical loneliness versus mental loneliness. To be alone doesn't mean you are lonely. Loneliness is just a result of one's negative perception of being alone, but introverts flipped that mindset and take on a positive perspective on it.

I prefer to do a lots of things alone. I grew up playing video games and while many games are made for people to enjoy with others. I find great value in single players games like God of War, Metal Gear Solid, Half Life, Dark Souls, Call of Duty, Final Fantasy and etc.

I have a habit of disappearing from the world for a few days. Sometimes weeks because I become so immersed in the world of the games that I play. I find myself playing a lot of online games this way where although its encouraged to be played with others. I often choose to be a lone wolf and experiences the game solo while still appreciating the seldom interactions with other players. I value the freedom of being alone not having to worry about the others and only myself.

As selfish as it sounds the only burdens you can bear are only limited to your own. A lot of online multiplayer games encourage teamwork and its necessity to overcome certain trials or enemies. But I find it very fulfilling to discover that solo players are able to achieve the same feats by themselves. There's nothing more thrilling than witnessing an underdog achieve what others believe that they couldn't on their own. Taking this a step back, I see this reflect how I act in the real world. I like venturing out and achieving things on my own

It helps me discover and understand things about what I can do and what I am incapable of doing and need improvement on. And those are lessons I could only learn by being my own teacher. My mind is at peace when things make sense or at least when its reasonable for things to be the way they are. They don't necessarily have to be beneficial. I just seek closure through rationality.

Why do I have a surplus of chins? Because I have a declining metabolism and my eating and exercise habits are inconsistent due to lack of self-discipline. I am at peace with it for now.

I may be too self-critical at times, but I feel that's it's necessary so that I can grow as a person. It's easy to look at others and make judgments based on our perspectives. But rarely are people able to reflect on themselves failing to see their own faults and often failing to see their own beauty as well. Learn to both criticize and appreciate yourself so that you can continuously develop a better you.


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Thanks for reading~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Opah

During the course of raya Eidulfitri, our family went beraya at my mum's side which is at Johor. Kluang. This year we had the priviledge to go to the old house of my late grandma. It was still in good condition eventho its left with old furniture and some other old stuffs inside of the house. We pay her a visit to her grave and went to the house for a family gathering.

Anyhow, the place or the house to be exact, is nice and as we are cleaning the dust around the area, I opened some of the old stash inside of the house. I found myself some really old photos, diaries and some photo album of my late grandma. Some of them are funny and some are interesting and it does brings some nostalgic feeling of the 90-s.

My Auntie when she was in Japan, lets be honest here, I thought that was the oven glove

Hahaha..

A simple panoramic picture of my aunt and some heartfelt message

The gift from my cousin to Opah

Hahaha, this was the funniest I guess. Mainly because my cousin, the girl who wrote this is all grown-up already. There even some sign over there. Whats funny is that, my grandma didn't really write anything at the book despite receiving it to write diaries. 

Her days when she was a teacher.. I think it was during Teacher's day 

Opah loves to collect scented candles, potpourri, and those doorgift from various wedding ceremonies. Soo basically this is her collection stash.

My Aunt with Opah.

I found this lovely photo frame of her grandchildrens at that time. If it were to include present time, maybe they had to add more faces in there. I'll be honest not much people recognize me in this. Hoho

I had planned to write this ever since Raya Eidulfitri this year, but something came up, and it kept me away from my blogs for sometime. My lappy basically had its screen cracked and I didnt really have enough money to fix it. But worry not, cuz now I am fine and I'm on my way of getting it fixed.

My Opah as far as I knew her is really an admirable person. During her youthful days, she was a famous ustazah at her school. She was well-known cuz her students are all very good in that particular subject she's teaching. She is knowledgeable, kind, generous, loving, and always full of advise. I always happy during her presence. There aren't much woman family members in the family tree, so having her around made us felt comfortable. 

She was always the type who share lots of her stories during her glory days. Sharing stories of her late husband, how he was always by her side before she was left widowed. It was always wonderful to hear her share her experiences. There are just many moral stories to be taken. It was fun

I remembered that one time she was sick at her house, we went visiting her. She always ask me of how I always been and how are my studies when she was around. I was always the one that usually asked for advice how to do this and that.

What I love of her is that she always seems to know when I have a problem. I'm not sure how but she seems to be able to read me inside out when nobody can, that includes my parents as well. I told my grandma lots of secrets tho and writing this kinda made me feel sad to think that now shes no longer here. 

So far, I am very comfortable when I'm with Opah cuz she is a very good listener. There are not much people who are as good as her. Unfortunately, she passed away in her 60ties due to fibroid cancer. She has been fighting it for years and she eventually won the fight, but the aftermath is just too much for a women of her age to handle. May Allah grants her Jannatul Firdaus, paradise in the afterlife.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Al-Fatihah~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Is he crazy?

I was just finished my Jumaat's prayer at the time and I was disapa by this one familiar looking guy.

He wore a brown worn-out tee and a torn black-leathered jeans. His shirt had its sleeves torn up at the end of it while having a dark blue worn-out sidebag on his side. He came up to me as if he wanted something at the time but all he wanted is just a handshake. I shook his hand treating as if he's a normal person. Suprisingly, he said " Alhamdulillah " and went forward to seemingly offers a handshake to the other person in front of me.

The people of the mosque was fine by his presence as he didn't not throw out any fit nor cause any harm to them. I'm pretty much sure they all know who he is since he wonders around practically everywhere. Anyway, as he was advancing towards the front row of the prayers while offering handshakes to the people around him. He went straight to the Imam of the masjid to offer his handshake.

To my surprise, the Imam eventually standup offers him handshake and made him sit behind him for the after prayer. Everybody seems to be pleased of that situation and continue to berdoa as usual. When the after prayer was done, he standup and make his way out of the mosque. I'll be honest here, I'm kinda expecting him to cause a ruckus around, cuz duh! He's crazy and I don't really expect much from someone like him but this situation totally changed how I looked at things.

After that whole situation, I kinda became fascinated to the guy cuz truthfully speaking, he has been around this area for more than a 4 years and of all this time, this is the only time that I saw this. When I think hard back about this, 4 years! That's a long time. I mean to survive in this world with just the generosity and kindness of the nearby people, that's really something when you think about it.

Fascinating huh?

Anyhow as crazy as he is, he didn't seem to pose a threat to the society around him but instead he has been in this area for so long that nearby people would recognize him and offers him food despite knowing that he's crazy. I never truly knew the person but I heard before he went crazy, he was a good person. A person good enough that made the people of Paka nearby knew him.

I'm kinda curious about his origins myself actually, yet I don't even know who to ask about him. I did ask my father about him tho since I once saw him being treated food at a restaurant nearby. When I did, he only said that he did it cuz what of he saw others did.

It is all about perception I guess. What makes me think of these is that, if he is as dangerous as I thought, people would have escort him outside of the mosque the moment he sets his foot inside. I'm expecting he had some good background history. I guess lets just leave a benefit of a doubt in this scenario.

Oh well, despite that, I felt bad for thinking bad of him. After all our perception is actually a reflection of ourselves. Maybe I should be more optimistic or maybe just paranoid. Who knows kan.

Whats more surprising is that, that crazy person, lets just call him, Pok We, had a case before that what made people deemed him as crazy. There was a point where some of the residents here actually saw him sleeping outside a house butt naked. One of the residents who is a young girl saw him, and called the police because his actions or his sleeping position looks like as if he's dead.

He was caught as I heard and again was somehow release to the public soon after. Not sure how or when. I guess Allah had a good plan for him. I often heard people saying " Orang gila aka Crazy people like him, if he were a muslim before, He had his place in Jannah.". Like gila naturally lah, kalau gila yang dicari tu, menempah neraka ler jawapnyaa. I hope he will be well, wherever or whenever he is. I wonder how old is he tho. Hmmmm...

Death Timer

As I walk by towards a stall at a night market nearby here, a car from behind suddenly hit the tent of the stall. Lights and wires that were hung up between the steel roof of the tent were falling down and I quickly duck to avoid an injury to happen to my head when the tent slowly losing its balance. As a result I hurt my knee and my watch were damaged due to a hit on the road.

Frustrated and still manage to maintain sabar due to all that situation, I went home preparing for break fast. As I look back towards my damaged watch, I realized that, the watch was actually my 4th for the year. Its weird when I think that, most of my stuffs or anything that was given to me got damaged rather easily. Even my mum noticed this due to multiple times she gave stuffs to me and that stuffs didn't last for long.

I tried my hardest to take care of them but I guess I was unfortunate to have accidents happen to me involving breaking my valued belongings. At some point, I beginning to think it was a curse. Even so, my parents and siblings would usually deemed me as careless and clumsy. I know I'm not what they said I am and I tried to prove to them that I'm not but I always fail again and again. I beginning to think that the things I held practically some sort of a death timer.

Wouldnt it be good for us to know when a certain things death would be? Or is it the other way around? I guess if we did knew, we probably be under appreciate it and started to do so until the last minute. I guess it would be fine for inanimate objects. What if we knew our own life's death timer?

Like when will we die, how, what cause, why and all of those. What if we knew all that? Will we be missed? Will we be remembered? Are we satisfied of what we leave behind for future generation? Will our beloved be okay with when the time comes? It will be a completely new situation wouldn't it?

I'm sorry. I had my overthinking took over me for today and hence this post came up. Again, I'm just letting it out of my mind for awhile. Anyhow, I found this really sad iklan for the upcoming Eidulfitri. Please take a look it is really good.

Selamat Menyambut Ramadhan To All My Muslim Readers out there. 

Sorry for the late posts.

Will post more later~ <3

One and Only

Have you ever met someone that surprised you? Like you meet this person and at first you hardly pay any attention to them. You may not be at all attracted to this person but as you get to know them, you notice yourself falling. This person, who was once nothing to you has suddenly become everything. All of the sudden, they're the most beautiful person you've ever met. Its just funny looking back. You never saw it coming, its just kind of..... happened.

Does things like this happened to you guys? No? Too bad. Well, dont worry that particular person be around sooner or later. Hahaha I guess it happen to everyone at some point of our life. Love is indeed a mystery. What's interesting is that most of the time, it catches us all off guard without any warning. Even for me, I admit I fell down on my feet because of love.

Sooo now, ladies and gentlemen, I wanna tell you a love story about mine. Soo better duduk siap2 amik popcorn masing2 and get ready for a ride. Hahaha.

As you are all informed, I played my piano for quite sometime and I am quite good at it but the thing is that only few people knew of this. I didn't really record or post it anywhere on the social media because I am shy. She has been a friend of mine from quite sometime and that one day I was bored and tried to cover a few popular songs like Surat Cinta Untuk Starla by Virgoun and When You're Gone by Avril Lavigne.

I didnt think it was quite good but when I gave the recordings of me playing to her. She was surprised and she said she never thought that I was that good. I was bored at the time and somehow wanted people to rate me playing. I'm not sure myself as to why I choose her out of all people. Hahaha.

Tu la orang cakap maybe jodoh kan. 

Anyhow, it was all good and fun, when the 4th time I gave my songs cover to her, she said the appreciation words that I always wanted to hear all my life. She expressed her feelings to me as if I had done something so meaningful to her all this time. Hearing that, I fell for her right away. From that point, I excitingly began learning a few more songs, played it the best as I can and made it into a cover and gave it to her for hearing. I'm like totally being like a child who tries really hard to impress a parent over something. Its funny when I thought of it back because I did it on a whim while having good fun at the same time. Her words of encouragement is actually what kept me going and giving me strength to do what I do best.

We began to keep in touch and share out our stories to each other. It was all fun and amazing experience and we didn't even confessed to each other yet tho I somehow know that she felt the same way. You just knew you know, the way she talk and texts. It was kinda obvious. I do give her hints from time to time that I liked her, but as wonderful as she is, she's so lembab nak pickup and notice all the things I did for her. ( Hahaha, sorry syg )

Rasa nak headlock jer si dia nie. Geram. 

Until la that particular day, I decided to confess my feelings. I'm kinda aware that I might face a rejection to the face but what the heck, my heart at the time said that its now or never. She was surprised as if she never expected I would fall for someone like her. I'll be like...

Duh, I thought what I did was obvious, maybe not obvious enough kot. After all the awkward conversations of her verifying when why how what and with me answering all her questions she fired me, she suprisingly said..

At the time, Im like with the most blunt and cool-looking face ever said..

Okay la fine maybe not as cool as the way Obama's says it kan but still its something like that, HAHAHA, Im more like be like this from the inside...

Eventually during our course of relationship, we decided to meet each other and we sure took a lot of photos together alongside food-hunting as well as visiting museums and theme parks along the way. My expectation of her is beyond what I imagine and I fell for her even more, knowing that we share a lot of things in common and she enjoys food as much as I do. Hahaha

Too cute~ <3

Mee Besen Original Melaka

She came in Melaka for a few days and we went food hunting the moment she sets her foot here. We celebrate her birthday on that particular day and went on to eat on Seoul Garden. Its funny like how most girls I hangout with they usually tend to acah2 control makan when eating in front of a guy. When it comes to her, nope. Hahahaha. No pretending no control2 ayu/handsome or what not. We ate a lot and it was really satisfying to see her enjoying her foods the same as I do. 

Anyhow, I am really grateful to find someone who has all the good and favourable traits that I loved soo much all in one. She is amazing and by far one of the most cheerful person I have ever met. Theres is not a single flaw I saw in her of yet and she was by far the best one I ever had. 

You know, I once had insecurities of myself when confessing to someone that you are sexually attracted to. When looking back, I had a lot of insecurities like my skin colour, my height, my overall looks and my body weight. Its not that attractive kot, and I damn well knew that if I'm so handsome, I wouldnt be single for soo many years since secondary school. Long story short, I wanted to change a little before seeing her at least but it was the thing she spoke off back then where she said... 

" I like you the way you are and I'll stay with you no matter how much you changed " 

That words of her alone. Already made me happiest guy ever. I guess for every guys or girls out there who was still struggling to find themselves a life partner. I guess the only best advice I can give is

" JUST BE YOURSELF "

I guess the end game now is to fight for this relationship till marriage kot. 

Oh before this have to tell my parents. Ibuuu!!! Sam dah jumpaaa daaa!! 

I am not Enough

Its been said that the greatest disease that's been affecting humanity is that feeling that "I am not enough". The feeling of "I am not enough" can only exist when you compare yourself to another and living your life by expectations that aren't your own.

Lets be honest, comparison is literally the thief of joy. Like for example, you just scored yourself a C in Chemistry, in which before in your life, you never scored anything above E. In that scenario, its only fair that you should be proud of yourself since you are better than you are before. Instead you compare yourself to a rival of yours who scored A+ in that particular subject, automatically you felt this feeling of dissatisfaction and inadequate.

Ill be honest that even I myself had this kind of feeling. Back then, I had this one academic rival at school and his name is Wan (not his real name). Wan has been proven to be all-time teacher's favorite student at school. He just excels in everything as far as I'm concerned. From sports to school competitions and even most school-club positions. Our exam results usually just really close to each other with me lacking the one behind. If he gets 90% I got like 80%. He was quite well known at school too and even my parents knew of him.

As usual, having strict Asian parents is really no joke. Academics results were like the only thing they care about and I was pretty much forced to focus on that and only that. As a result, I do excel in my studies but to feel inadequate and not recognized for the hard work that you put on by the teachers is something that troubles me. Its just Wan on the spotlight. Somehow at that point, I didn't even have 1 bit sense of gratefulness in me. Not until a friend of mine, Nassar came up to me and pat me on the back for my improvements. Nassar was the school running athelete and its funny how he compared my situations to a track race.

His words back then, really-really triggered me and of course knocked some sense into me. It was the best thing I got from him. It was hard to took him serious at first considering he the type who likes to jokes a lot but that one thing the thing I really need to boost my self-confidence. And now I wanted to inspire you guys too.

Often much people around me always complaining about themselves of being not adequate enough for things like work, relationship and other's life commitments when the truth is they improved but in a slow pace. My answers were simple. Comparing yourself to others is an insult to who you are. You are disrespecting yourself, hence getting you nowhere better than you are now.

I am not beautiful, I am not good, I am poor, I am this, I am that. This kind of thinking is dangerous for our mental health. Basically telling ourselves that over and over is like convincing that we are not going to be able to be more than what we are. Not to mention, you are not being grateful and insulting of who you really are when the better way is to figure out and improve. Often people I met had this kind of thinking and lets just say, it didn't really end well for them and their maturity level didn't really improved.

If you use a great person to measure where you are in life and where you can be, sure. There is not a lot wrong in that, but do not be attach to the result. The only result you should be attached to is the result of you being better than you are yesterday, last week, last month or even last year.

Set your own goal on the things that you personally wanted to achieve. Understand yourself at where you are at and try to improve yourself slowly. Everyone is different and everyone can win. You will never win if you set your eyes at another person. You win your race when you focus on your own finish line. You win in life being happy for others winning their race, you give your own heart and soul winning your own race. Its literally YOU vs YOU.

The battle is won or lost in your own mind.  Its an insult to who you are going to be. You are better than that and therefore, you are unique and that will always be your greatest power. That will always separate you from the rest. So be you! Focus on you! Focus on growing you! Developing you! Mastering your own strength! Winning your own race. If others win their race, great! We are all here to win. What most people don't know that when that moment you support others, support will come back to you. Don't go out to prove them wrong. Get out there to prove yourself right!

Comic Fiesta

If you guys followed me via Instagram or Facebook, you'll know that recently I have been to a nearby anime festival comic fiesta at Dataran Pahlawan Melaka. Truthfully speaking, I have never been to any comic fiesta ever despite knowing it all over the internet, more specifically on the newsfeed on how exciting it is.

So on that particular day, I was like why not I try to go to this festival for once kan. Wouldnt it be interesting? And soooo long story short, I did! It was definitely beyond my expectation when I reached there. There were soo many cosplayers all over the place and each of them were really on point on the costumes with the characters that they represents. I took over 100 photos and my friend pulak took like 300++ photos. We literally spend hours from 1pm to 6 pm there. We took a few photos and here they are.

Kakashi from Naruto wearing a Tux instead

Im not sure what character is this but she was sooo eye-catching

Cute kan?

The sword she's carrying is freakin real O_O

Kaneki and Touka from Tokyo Ghoul

Im not sure where is this from. Power Rangers kot?

Cleaner pon cosplay kot hahahahhaha JKJK. Its a maid uniform

Not sure nie dari mana, but people submit this photo to me to feature in the blog huhu

Enma Ai from Jigoku Shoujo, Naruto and BoBoBoy

Rem bridal costume from Re : Zero

This one by far won the most cute and best cosplay from all the cosplays that were shown. She was freakin adorable and some guys after me literally queue up for a photo session with the girl. Soo cute la dik hahaha

The cosplayers are all very generous and bubbly during the event. Like not even single of them refused to take selfies with the fans around them. I got to know some of them along the way since we literally shared the same interests. Most of them are chinese and from Sabahan and Sarawak. Ahh, how I'm soo jealous as to how they can maintain their skin colour. They were soo bright and looks pretty much flawless kot. Wish I had that kind of skin haha.. but then kalau ada kena cosplay la pulak hahahahha.

Aside from the cosplays, I got to meet a bestfriend of mine, Byatul and Liyana from highschool dulu. The day seems to get better and better. She was around Melaka for a few days for a runaway vacation after finishing her practical. Both of them was around the fiesta perimeter when we met. We took a few selfies and have some KFC lunch together along the way before officially departs from each other. 

Its funny that I felt that during that day, time seems to fly soo fast. I wished I could take more and more photos with the cosplayers because there lots and lots of them there and I didnt manage to talk to all of them due to lack of time. Anyhow, if someone would ask me if I wanted to go to a comic fiesta/ anime festival again, I would be like...