I am not Enough

Its been said that the greatest disease that's been affecting humanity is that feeling that "I am not enough". The feeling of "I am not enough" can only exist when you compare yourself to another and living your life by expectations that aren't your own.

Lets be honest, comparison is literally the thief of joy. Like for example, you just scored yourself a C in Chemistry, in which before in your life, you never scored anything above E. In that scenario, its only fair that you should be proud of yourself since you are better than you are before. Instead you compare yourself to a rival of yours who scored A+ in that particular subject, automatically you felt this feeling of dissatisfaction and inadequate.

Ill be honest that even I myself had this kind of feeling. Back then, I had this one academic rival at school and his name is Wan (not his real name). Wan has been proven to be all-time teacher's favorite student at school. He just excels in everything as far as I'm concerned. From sports to school competitions and even most school-club positions. Our exam results usually just really close to each other with me lacking the one behind. If he gets 90% I got like 80%. He was quite well known at school too and even my parents knew of him.

As usual, having strict Asian parents is really no joke. Academics results were like the only thing they care about and I was pretty much forced to focus on that and only that. As a result, I do excel in my studies but to feel inadequate and not recognized for the hard work that you put on by the teachers is something that troubles me. Its just Wan on the spotlight. Somehow at that point, I didn't even have 1 bit sense of gratefulness in me. Not until a friend of mine, Nassar came up to me and pat me on the back for my improvements. Nassar was the school running athelete and its funny how he compared my situations to a track race.

His words back then, really-really triggered me and of course knocked some sense into me. It was the best thing I got from him. It was hard to took him serious at first considering he the type who likes to jokes a lot but that one thing the thing I really need to boost my self-confidence. And now I wanted to inspire you guys too.

Often much people around me always complaining about themselves of being not adequate enough for things like work, relationship and other's life commitments when the truth is they improved but in a slow pace. My answers were simple. Comparing yourself to others is an insult to who you are. You are disrespecting yourself, hence getting you nowhere better than you are now.

I am not beautiful, I am not good, I am poor, I am this, I am that. This kind of thinking is dangerous for our mental health. Basically telling ourselves that over and over is like convincing that we are not going to be able to be more than what we are. Not to mention, you are not being grateful and insulting of who you really are when the better way is to figure out and improve. Often people I met had this kind of thinking and lets just say, it didn't really end well for them and their maturity level didn't really improved.

If you use a great person to measure where you are in life and where you can be, sure. There is not a lot wrong in that, but do not be attach to the result. The only result you should be attached to is the result of you being better than you are yesterday, last week, last month or even last year.

Set your own goal on the things that you personally wanted to achieve. Understand yourself at where you are at and try to improve yourself slowly. Everyone is different and everyone can win. You will never win if you set your eyes at another person. You win your race when you focus on your own finish line. You win in life being happy for others winning their race, you give your own heart and soul winning your own race. Its literally YOU vs YOU.

The battle is won or lost in your own mind.  Its an insult to who you are going to be. You are better than that and therefore, you are unique and that will always be your greatest power. That will always separate you from the rest. So be you! Focus on you! Focus on growing you! Developing you! Mastering your own strength! Winning your own race. If others win their race, great! We are all here to win. What most people don't know that when that moment you support others, support will come back to you. Don't go out to prove them wrong. Get out there to prove yourself right!