Jodoh

Have you guys ever had this feeling where you are missing someone so much but you don't even know who that is? Have you ever had this inexplicable, unexplained, weird longing for somebody? Have you ever feel so isolated in your life that somehow your soul are spiritually yearning for a touch from someone? Yes? No?

Well, the reason that I asked such questions are because these past few days have been really hard for me. I have been sick for a couple of days and that is definitely bad news. Not only that, the workloads on my side have been piling up since I took a few days off to cool off my head, body and of course taking medicines along the way. I still caught a very bad cold and fever after taking like 6 pills of paracetamol and Geez! the medicines barely works. It took a few days to get my stamina back up and in those 2 days of "holiday". What do I do? Spending time on my bed, doing nothing but eat and sleep. Ughh! Boring af.

Whats interesting is that during those days, I overthink a lot, especially about my jodoh and my future. I was stricken by fear of not meeting a potential jodoh of my own in due time. I was scared to the thought of getting married when I reach my old days. I was engulfed with anxiety of losing someone who I treasure the most and those who I had struggles and hardships building a connection with. I got really worried that if my relationship with my potential jodoh doesn't work out so well considering I never had the chance to get into a relationship of my own during my teenage days, Therefore, no experience whatsoever. 

I never feel the pain of breaking up with someone, and as a result, I am terrified of not capable of handling it later in my life. I never experienced being treasured by someone else aside from my family. I never had any intimate talks with anybody ever. I never bought gifts or plan surprises like most couples do. I never ever been addressed sweet nicknames by anybody. Haih.. Sad life huh?

All of these.

I never experienced them. I wanted to tho.. soo bad :/

At some point, I felt.. unwanted. 

Haih, I guess maybe God loves me and doesn't want me to endure all those stuffs or perhaps because I am not ready or handle it well enough in my current state. Hmmmm..

Anyway, putting all the negativity aside, I never lose hope to Allah, berdo'a yang Dia sudah sediakan yang terbaik untuk hambaNya and in fact, I always cite this in my prayers and in my do'a everytime I finished solat.

Learnt it from my Ustazah

However, somewhere in myself, I deeply wished that such things would happened to me, even its for a short while (harap2 tak la kan). Then again when I think about it, if the love bring more harm than good, I would rather be single till the rest of my life, but hopefully I didn't laa kan. I wished myself the best. Heck, who don't want the best for everything in their life?

Come to think of it, I have been talking about jodoh for quite a few posts of mine like for example this one here. Geez, whats happening to me and I don't even know -_-. Its actually rare of me to speak stuff like this soo openly. Oh well anyway, I'm sorry if this emo post of mine is kinda out of the blue and looks more like a rant haha but indeed this is what I feel right now and I'm just getting it out of my chest. 

My Views On "Heathens"

Heya guys! Sup!?

I have been listening to this song titled "Heathens" by 21 pilots for quite sometime now and lets just say that I'm addicted to it hahaha. I have been singing the song for awhile, and something just triggers me to write about it. I was actually curious about the lyrics and lucky for you guys, I'll go in depth about it for today, I just felt like talking about the song. Well first things first, let us all know what Heathens means..

If you don't know about the song, then maybe you should give it a listen 1st. It might help going through to what am going to tell you later. Do pay attention to the lyrics...

21 pilots is an awesome band. They released Heathens in 2016 as part of the Suicide Squad soundtrack. Yeah, lagu tuu laaa haaa, Believe it or not, I never did get to watch the movie in the cinemas because workloads!! O_O ughh...
Okay moving on to the analysis..

The song is actually about the singer, Tyler Joseph's friends and how he wants his listener to treat them, but even more specifically it seems to be about how Tyler Joseph wants Christians to reach out and witness to people who aren't Christians. Yeah betul laa, kinda like berdakwah for Christians to none believers aka his friends aka The Heathens

He sings in his song " All my friends are Heathens take it slow, wait for them to ask you who you know ". It means he wants Christians to be careful about telling strangers about Jesus (PBUH) and instead to develop a relationship with them first. When singing about his friends, Joseph explains that they will never know the psychopath, murderer, freakshow sitting next to us, and this is because people hide their problems. They don't just opened up to strangers. Well duh! None of us do.

Hmmmmmm,... okay laa.. Well maybe some of us kot..

I know some people who do.. moving on.

and if Christians don't know the half of the abuse, how are they going to be able to effectively meets these people needs? Joseph also says that his friends don't deal with outsiders very well and that they can smell your intentions which begs the next question..

Why would Joseph friends listen to a Christian that they don't even know especially when it comes to big topics like eternity, afterlife and their own personal problems? Kinda out of place isn't it?

Thankfully, the solution comes in the chorus when Joseph sings " Take it slow, and wait for them to ask you who you know " and frankly people will only ask you who you know if they understand that you care about them. Macam peribahasa dulu-dulu, " no one cares how much you know until they know how much you care " It does also means he wants Christian listeners to be more careful around hurting people and to be wary of sounding like a Salesman when they promised that they can solve a person's life biggest problem especially since Joseph friends don't seem to respond very well to that kind of an approach.

But do you know whats the best part about the song? Joseph actually accept the listener into his group acknowledging the humble or ideal listener's willingness to take it slow and to admit to his or her own struggles.

Last part dalam lagu tu, Joseph sings " I tried to warn you just to stay away and now they are outside ready to bust, it looks like you might be one of us " The thing outside could be everybody's personal struggles or they could be Christians who want to take the time to know Joseph's friends. Either way, Heathens tells us the story of at least 1 person who is willing to take the time to know people and asks the rest of us to be willing to take it slow too.

Informative isn't it? Well at least now you know. I knew it has something to do with people with personal problems and of course religion-related, after all they were talking about the Heathens to begin with.