Autoimmune Disease (SLE)

Hey guys,😁😁😜

Recently I have received news on people whether its on the social media or the news that auto-immune diseases is a thing. Maybe on your country but here in Malaysia, yeah. One of my family members also has been diagnosed to have SLE ( Systemic Lupus Erythematosus ) which is one of the chronic disease within one of the autoimmune disease's family tree.

Lets be honest that at first I didn't know anything about the said diseases until I did some research on it. Systemic Lupus Erythematosus or its previous name, Discoid Lupus Erythematosus is basically similar to most autoimmune diseases but target mainly skins and nearby important organs of our body, which is why SLE patients usually are known to have visible skin rashes on their faces known as (Butterfly Rash) or some other parts of the body. 👀🤔

 ( Butterfly Rash aka SLE )

Lupus came from the latin word Wolf and Erythematosus came from latin word, meaning reddening of skin. 😊😊

It was Dr Cazenave in 1851 that first found a red rashes resembles like a wolf bite on one of his patients, and that was the time the diseases was named Discoid Lupus Erythematosus. Soon after a few years, it was found that the diseases didn't only affect skin but also affect other internal organs and some of our body systems. It was then changed to Systemic Lupus Erythematosus.

Nobody actually knows for 100% that how disease came into existence but some doctors were able to conclude a way or a theory of how the disease can be reduced. Some doctors had different opinions of how this autoimmune diseases are originated. Most of the victims consists of women rather than men. It seems to have a large tendency of affecting women since it has something to do with the hormone, estrogen. Despite that, some doctors thought maybe it has something to do with UV Rays, Hormones, Medication, Eating Habits, Genetics, and even surrounding Environment.

Let us now identify its symptoms..

Symptoms can vary and can change over time. Common symptoms include:

• severe fatigue
• joint pain
• joint swelling
• headaches
• a rash on the cheeks and nose, which is called a “butterfly rash”
• hair loss
• anemia
• blood-clotting problems
• fingers turning white or blue and tingling when cold, which is known as Raynaud’s phenomenon

Other symptoms depend on the part of the body the disease is attacking, such as the digestive tract, the heart, or the skin. Over time, SLE can damage or cause complications in systems throughout your body.

Possible complications may include:

• blood clots and inflammation of blood vessels
• inflammation of the heart
• a heart attack
• a stroke
• memory changes
• behavioral changes
• seizures
• inflammation of lung tissue and the lining of the lung
• kidney inflammation
• decreased kidney function
• kidney failure

SLE can have serious negative effects on your body during pregnancy. It can lead to pregnancy complications and even miscarriage. I would actually wonder as how would those SLE victims, or in this case my cousin felt once being diagnosed to have SLE. Its is so unfortunate of her. I will probably update more of her latest condition soon.

In the meantime, lets us all pray for her safety. Thank you

Beggar

I'm not sure if I'm the only one felt this way but every time I saw a beggars, children selling typical stuffs or some torn out woman/man came up to me asking for donations or money, I always had this inner urge to just let them sit down near me and talk about their life. How long they have been doing as such and how did they manage to generate an income to just survive the harsh world out here. Somewhere deep in my mind Im thinking of from their perspective like how did they made money, what is their goals, what is their motivation, what is their overall motives and what are their hopes for their future and probably their children. Generally all about it, made me curious.

I had this kind of thinking is because near my place, there was a city dumpster. This dumpster was located a few metres from my house and everytime I went out. I saw people look around 24-30 was basically scavenging for goods there. Every single day I kept my eye carefully on these people from what they do and when they came for scavenging. Slowly, I noticed that they came there every single day, scavenging and even to the point of going inside the dumpster looking for goods. It stinks yeah I know and to know that there's people out there willing to do such thing is kinda made me surprised. Heck, people do anything to survive I guess.

Anyhow, there was one day where I went outside early for Sahur, at a restaurant nearby. On my way back, I found that an elderly woman and a young man was sleeping at an alleyway in a box of cardboards. They were just waking up for Sahur as well. I really wanted to just walk up to them and ask them about themselves but somehow my inner self were so declining because of their smell when I decided to approach. It was soo barely bearable and I just went home afterwards. As I peek out of the window, I noticed that the elderly woman surely was sick. She was coughing a lot and it was kinda loud when she did.

Geez tell me, who doesnt get sick when you regularly hangout near a dumpster. She also looked like she didn't took a bathe for weeks. Haih.. I felt this swell of pity to those people seriously. Sincerely I really do. But considering my position and with I am now, I don't think I am qualify to do anything for those two let alone helping them when I barely able to help myself with my problems. Im not even sure what I can do help them either.

I do have a wish like joining non-government association in helping those people, but im not even sure myself where to start and where to apply. Knowing that, I just start to just do some one random act of kindness at a time, like donating a lot and even share some of my foods to those nearby beggars on the pasar malam. I have high hopes that I would instill great values within myself which who knows one day, maybe I could make an organisation of my own.

Ahhh, would it be great if I ever had one kan? 

Oh well, maybe I could and maybe I couldnt kan? Its for a good cause kot. Anyhow, cheers to that dream of mine. Hope one day it can be fulfilled.

Fear

I had overthinking took over myself these past few days and I generally went into deep slumber after getting my a few days holiday right before I started back to work again. Being at home alone, really puts my mind to all sorts of imagination and wild thoughts of myself about everything that happens in life. I can't stop it soo I just go on with my twisted head and eventually, I beginning to really identify what are my fears in life.

Everybody is at least afraid of something whether be a ghost, a failure, heights, or even something thats completely different from anybody elses. I had lots of fear and trust me they are all self-related fears that sometimes engulf me into deep thoughts.

I come to know that I fear of losing someone/somebody I cherishes the most. Yes! A loved one. I was afraid of losing that. For someone who didn't really get to experience being in a relationship, I found myself to be devastated that I do. I had lost someone who I thought the world of before. Someone who I thought would stay with me for the rest of my life. Someone who could never break a trust. Someone who I thought were as innocent as they looks. All of that, I lost all of that. I thought that such things like getting heartbroken or getting betrayed only happen in those melodramas but then I was enlightened that they really do exist. I was such a fool.

Of course getting through the whole process was never such an easy task. I had zero appetite for 2 straight weeks and my mind was like on a different realm on its own. I skipped work for a few days without reason. I didn't really talk to anybody. I was losing weight drastically cause of no appetite and my mind was never at ease. I cried soo much in front of my solat asking if I ever did something wrong that God made me endure so much pain and despair.

I played sad songs every single day on my piano while shedding tears reflecting that what I have done that was soo wrong. My face were so bloated and black wrinkles and marks starting to appear under my eyes cause of lack of sleep. The only food I ate was all Instant noodles of different flavor. One day, I felt that my hands and legs were shaking uncontrollably when I woke up from sleep. It was so weird and it felt so wrong that I rush to nearby restaurant to get some rice to eat.

It stopped eventually. It was such a scary experience that I began reflecting again on my pathetic self. I began to man up a little bit and slowly forgetting the whole breaking-up thing. It was hard since there were so much to remember but Alhamdulillah I manage to go through the whole process on my own. During that course of moving on, I come to realise that it was my own expectation that just destroys me from the inside. I expect too much from someone who is not even worth my time. I blindly trust people without finding out their background and I was putting so much love and effort for someone who barely cares about me.

However, I learned my lesson now and I guess the new me was prepared for such circumstances if it were ever to take place again. I am happy and much more grateful now, and I knew I will lasts but I am still afraid especially to think if such things to take place again. It pains me to just imagine it. Ughhh! Overthinking please go away.