Blocked

I have been so much into dilemma these past few days. It messed up my mind and lets be honest because of that, I can't really function well in my daily activities. Even my friends noticed the differences between the daily "me" and the problematic overthinking "me". When I'm sad, I tend to find some place quite where I can be alone and from that point on, I just thought of myself of how or what things that I had done and what circumstances that affects me in the current situation. It could be literally anything from life choices, mistakes, relationship breakups, yeah pretty those petty things that came to mind.

As for me, recently I found that someone that I admired (a very good writer) and looked up to block me from social media sites, sadly enough it was both from Twitter and from Facebook. I still remembered our first meeting was like so lively and cheerful. She welcomed me with open arms after I stated that I was envious of her works and writing style. Things went downhill when I started treated her as friends, she began acting weird and starting to keep all her stuffs personal. I'm not that kind of people who gives a f***  concerned about her personal life at all. I just wonder as to why I get treated this way when clearly I don't know what kind of wrong doings that I made.

Its like getting random punishments or being casted out from a crowd for no reason. Being the ever so curious person that I am, I do wanted answers from her actions and in my multiple tries, I did add her on back, but my efforts were futile and what's more saddening is that I get blocked when I researched her name on FB. I was like...

" Geez, she must be hating me soo much huh? "

" What do I do, to deserve this? "

That kind of thoughts kept circulating my mind like race cars racing on a track circle. It just kept coming and coming. Well, I guess maybe she was insecure with someone she barely knows but lets be honest here, if she ever did asked me anything about myself, I will gladly answer them lol. Yeah everything! Nothing to hide and besides she's someone I admired a lot. So, lying would never be an option for me. Its too bad that she choose to shut down one of her loyal supporters/readers. I don't mind actually and I respect her decision 100% but its just too bad that she did that out of any solid explanations at all. I would truly love a decent reason as to why, but I knew she never will, even though she read this post. Seriously, just 1 reason and I'm out from your so-called social space.

One may say " Maybe dia rasa tak selesa dgn ko or maybe she's just being too insecure "

Well it could be, but I never did anything that disturb or butting in her private life or apa2 yg sewaktu dengannya soo what and why me of all people -_- being treated like this. Well from this point on, I'm just gonna do what she seemingly wanted me to do. Ignore her. I will try my very best to do so tho. She looks like she wanted me to f*** off anyway . Sure why not kan.

To be honest, I had a very good impression of her the 1st time I knew her. Too bad, she broke that expectation now. She was not as nice and humble as I thought she is.

Spooked

A few days ago, my lappy had its windows processor corrupted by some unknown reason. Ughhh, memang stress gila since here in Melaka at my place had a three-day-holiday including weekends with the extra 1 being Hari Keputeraan Sultan Melaka. In addition to that, most of my mates are going back to Terengganu and I'm here be like...

Some may ask " Kenapa ko tak ikut dorang balik? " and well, I didn't because personally, a three day holiday is simply not enough for me to go back to Terengganu. It just doesn't seems enough and I guess eventho I do went back, I probably will not get any satisfaction from it anyway and besides my friends are still on their studies and most of them are not back. Soo kalau balik pun I'll still probably stayed at home jugak. There it goes haha. Getting back to the story..

About my laptop... sighhhh... I had soo much things planned well too! From getting my music keyboard lesson, video-calling with my friends overseas and of course updating this blog ( I have been away way tooo long, sorry dear readers ) and only to have my lappy acting up like this. Soo frustrated!! ( Sebab dah plan and dah janji ) 

Oh well, I guess it can't be helped. Soo, in order to cope with my boredom that nearly kills me these past few days, I went to the nearest cyber cafe around here at night. The place wasn't that far from my place but I went there by room-mate's motorcycle ( sebab saje haha, jarang kot dapat bawak motor) . I spend a few hours there from 10pm and went back exactly at 1am. This is where the interesting part begins.

I stepped out of the CC, started my motorbike and went back quick. I reached an abandoned looking carwash and was ready to get to the other side of the road until a strange woman stopped me. She looked stunning and beautiful, wearing a purple headscarf and a black baju kurung with flower-style patterns on it. She seems to be back from some sort of occasion because her dressing seems so proper and formal.

She eventually stopped me and asked..

" Adik, leh minta tolong tak? "

" Ermmm, saya actually kena balik ni, cik sebab dah lewat ni " trying to lied just to escape the situation...

" Alaa, cik sekejab je, kereta saya breakdown ni, ( while pointing to her Kancil next to a closed foodstall ) saya kena balik rumah kakak Area Melaka Sentral and lagi pun dah lewat dah ni" speaking with a softest voice ever

" Kereta awak kat mana tak leh on tu? Maaf la kak, saya tak pandai pun dalam hal-hal kereta ni " I bluntly replied

" Eh, bukan tu awak, macam ni, saya ada kawan tinggal kat salah satu taman dekat sini and saya bagi awak alamat ni and cuba awak pergi kat rumah dia cakap Cik Ira minta tolong "

I somehow recognize that address since its kinda near to my place around Taman Peruna. I also learnt that her name is Ira. Hohoho. Oddly enough, my mind at that time kept whispering to me that if you help people now, maybe soon when you have other difficulties, people will helped you in return. Its called good karma. Besides, if I were to leave her there, what else could have happen to her at this kind of time. She also had that innocent look on her face making it more hard to decline the help -_- . With the most kambing smile I could muster up I agreed to her. 

" Sigh, boleh I guess kot " I replied

" Nanti lepas tu mari sini balik eh? " she said

I nodded and started off my bike and went straight to the address that she provided. Its really dark around the alley of the area and it really does give me the chills. O_O seriouslaa!! Dah la sorang at that time but since I made a promise with that women, I muster up all my courage to find the place that she claim to have someone she knows to help her. With the bunch of dim street lights that hardly lights up the path along the way, I went like crazy looking for the address until I came to a small house. The place seems really old and there's a lot of semak and lalang in its compound. I double-checked and I was definitely right but the place doesn't seems like anybody inhibit that house at all. It was old, dark and almost looked abandoned.

I took these photos the day after that incident happened

I had a bad feeling somehow at that time since the house itself looks rather spooky, not to mention, surveying houses at this kind of time will only breeds suspection among the Well sticking to my guts,  I went back straight home after that.

Being overly positive at that time, I thought maybe owner rumah tu dia bujang and doesnt really care about the house. There was no sign of sandals or shoes in the perimeter of the house too. It kept me thinking and thinking about that house and that women. I had this mumbling at that time I reached home too like really??

" Eh dia ni bagi salah alamat ke? Ke aku yang salah? Tapi rasanya betul dah.. Buat apa dia bagi aku alamat tu doh. Tah pape tak da orang pun ni. Come to think of it kan, Dia tu tak da handphone ke? Tak kan la tak da handphone, boleh je call kawan dia ni kot. Nak jugak harap aku, dah la lewat dah! Nyusahkan betul laa, dah tau nak jalan jauh bawak la sorang teman. Yang ni dah la pergi sorang and nyusah kan orang lain pulak tu. Harap muka je lawa tapi handphone tak leh beli, Sadis gila humph! Haih, amik nokia 3310 pun jadi laaa -_- aku pun handphone tak da la hipster sangat but kalau sekadar nak call orang tu boleh sangat.  Haih!!! Kereta boleh beli, handphone tak leh beli " 

Sigh..Its 2 am, suddenly I came to remember that she did asked to meet her back at the place and soo being the idiot that I am at the time, I went back to meet her at the spot and SHES FREAKING MISSING! . I went to the place where she said she park her Kancil there only to find that car is broken, out of order, in disrepair with the both backseat window broken. It looks like it haven't start for years. 

Spooked out yet? Hell yeah I am!! At that time, I was like " oookkkaaaaayyyyyyyy " quickly started off my bike and went back straight home. Quickly took my bath and my ablution before going straight to my room and sleep. I didn't think well and tried speaking to myself to avoid thinking about what happen just now.

Meremang bulu roma.. and actually still spooked when I wrote this post. Anyway, I did tell this story to a friend of mine and she replied

Well shes right at some point... I should have bring along that woman with me... or maybe not kot. I don't know but one thing for sure, never ever stop by for some random beautiful woman who asked for some random favor. Unless you wanna get spooked like me. Anyway nevertheless, I'm glad I'm safe..

Alhamdulillah.. thank god.

Diet and Gym

Hello friends.

I'm happy to say that I've been doing really well. I added exercise into my routine - 3 rounds of a kilometer run and walk- and have been doing a great job with veggies and portion control. It feels good.

Have to admit, finding free time during weekdays is like finding a needle in a haystack. Tough and almost impossible. Literally every single one of us are just so much exhausted whenever we reached home after work hours. But I remembered that my trainer did said, if you have something to achieve, sacrifice has to be made. And soo I did mine, and it paid off!! I feel quite impressed of myself actually. ( pats myself in the back )

Regarding about my diet, I heard someone once say that when your eating is in control it opens the door to the rest of your life being in control and I have to say that is true in my experience. I'm more focused, more able to get things done. I'm not thinking about food every moment of every day. It's nice.  Not that it's all good. I'm hungry much of the time. Not outrageously hungry but never quite full either. Well in my journey in shaving down kilos, I've come to realize that I'm not really an emotional eater. I don't eat about sadness or anger or even joy. But I eat for comfort. Eating, to me, gives me that "snuggled up on the couch under a cozy blanket in front of the TV while watching a movie" feeling.

Its a very good feeling you know. Its literally because of this I'm able to shed a few kilos ever since I went working in Melaka. Its definitely better than what I did back then in Paka and let me tell ya..losing weight there is extremely hard even though I went working out at the gym every weeknights cuz my mom. Not that because she force me to eat or anything but rather her cooking is just tooo fantastic and irresistible.  And she cooked em everyday too! Ahh but right now I missed her and her cooking soo much :(

Oh and speaking about gym Tadaa!

Throwback when I'm in Paka, I missed them soo much :( the coaches here are all super cool ( especially coach Paan and Azim ) They are both sempoi and awesome. It is definitely a worthy experience. My mom and dad also joined in the fun...

Haaaaa hati-hati guys my parents knows kick boxing kot hoho! Don't mess with them ever!

Oh yeah if you noticed I added a music player on top of the blog, I just add some of my favourite songs on the list, I could add little more to it but Ill probably do it later. I hope you guys had fun listening while reading my rants around here. Ill be back with another interesting post soon ^_^