Blocked

I have been so much into dilemma these past few days. It messed up my mind and lets be honest because of that, I can't really function well in my daily activities. Even my friends noticed the differences between the daily "me" and the problematic overthinking "me". When I'm sad, I tend to find some place quite where I can be alone and from that point on, I just thought of myself of how or what things that I had done and what circumstances that affects me in the current situation. It could be literally anything from life choices, mistakes, relationship breakups, yeah pretty those petty things that came to mind.

As for me, recently I found that someone that I admired (a very good writer) and looked up to block me from social media sites, sadly enough it was both from Twitter and from Facebook. I still remembered our first meeting was like so lively and cheerful. She welcomed me with open arms after I stated that I was envious of her works and writing style. Things went downhill when I started treated her as friends, she began acting weird and starting to keep all her stuffs personal. I'm not that kind of people who gives a f***  concerned about her personal life at all. I just wonder as to why I get treated this way when clearly I don't know what kind of wrong doings that I made.

Its like getting random punishments or being casted out from a crowd for no reason. Being the ever so curious person that I am, I do wanted answers from her actions and in my multiple tries, I did add her on back, but my efforts were futile and what's more saddening is that I get blocked when I researched her name on FB. I was like...

" Geez, she must be hating me soo much huh? "

" What do I do, to deserve this? "

That kind of thoughts kept circulating my mind like race cars racing on a track circle. It just kept coming and coming. Well, I guess maybe she was insecure with someone she barely knows but lets be honest here, if she ever did asked me anything about myself, I will gladly answer them lol. Yeah everything! Nothing to hide and besides she's someone I admired a lot. So, lying would never be an option for me. Its too bad that she choose to shut down one of her loyal supporters/readers. I don't mind actually and I respect her decision 100% but its just too bad that she did that out of any solid explanations at all. I would truly love a decent reason as to why, but I knew she never will, even though she read this post. Seriously, just 1 reason and I'm out from your so-called social space.

One may say " Maybe dia rasa tak selesa dgn ko or maybe she's just being too insecure "

Well it could be, but I never did anything that disturb or butting in her private life or apa2 yg sewaktu dengannya soo what and why me of all people -_- being treated like this. Well from this point on, I'm just gonna do what she seemingly wanted me to do. Ignore her. I will try my very best to do so tho. She looks like she wanted me to f*** off anyway . Sure why not kan.

To be honest, I had a very good impression of her the 1st time I knew her. Too bad, she broke that expectation now. She was not as nice and humble as I thought she is.