Penyakit kronik aku!?

I came to realise that I have been suffering this 1 disease after all this years but I just didn't know the right term for it. It has been awhile and to be honest, it kinda affects me in everyday basis since its basically involves relationships with people. I don't really know what is the correct term for it until my friend texted me..

Yeah altruism! O_O

Okay first of all, you guys must be wondering what does this " altruism " means right? Well, I try to make it as simple as possible. Altruism is the belief in or practice of disinterested and selfless concern for the well-being of others. In other words, selflessness. Kinda like over caring for somebody of some sort but its not it.

Hahaha, I know I know. Sorry about the title, yeah its misleading, same goes for others misleading links title out there haha, okay2 its soo unlike me huh? Hahaha, Gurau doh sorry2 hehe.

Most people sees it as a good thing but to me its a little bit different. Different as in bad or good you might say? Its bad. Well kinda.

I probably would say its bad because sometimes I put others way ahead of myself instead of my own resulting in me being easily used and stepped on. Several times it has been this way for me actually, where I am being too generous, too kind, too soft, too laid back on doing important stuffs, too bertolak ansur for somebody without thinking of my own responsibilities. I guess this is the bad side of altruism where literally if you met the wrong people, they could take advantage of your kindness. Its between the good and the bad crowd. I ought to remind myself to always be careful when choosing your friends.

Come to think of it, I have been like this since I was around 18 where I began joining this NGO organisation in my diploma days where we conduct visits elderly home, do some random charity, raised some funds, conducting activites held by the organisation and those petty stuffs you see. Now, Im working soo I kinda missed those times. Theres hardly any free daytime for me ever since and I don't even know any NGO here to join.

Altruism, hmmmm. I don't really know how to explain it further, but to me when I see people express their words of gratitude or even smile because of something that I do. I got this an urge of satisfaction and that alone literally would made my day better. Its not an act to be likeable by the society nor do I making a name of myself by doing as such. Its just a simple good deed. Who knows? Maybe this type of stuffs that I do would instils good behaviours to today's society kan. Would that be awesome? Hehe, its all about spreading love anyway ^_^

Mother's Day

If you look at the lives of the greatest men who ever lived, you will find that they owe their greatness, primarily to the care and nurture of their mother, especially in their formative years. Soo, its easy to conclude that behind every successful person around the world, there will always a person responsible for that. And that person is someone we called " Mother " or in my case its " Ibu ". If we serve them, they will bless us. There is no blessing like that of the mother. Even prophet Muhammad (PBUH) once said,

" Do good and serve your mother, then your mother, then your mother, and then your father. "

MOTHER was repeated and emphasized 3 times. Its really shows how important to respect, cherish and value your mother much much more than your father, but that doesn't mean that you shouldn't disrespect your father. The reason was simply, because we owe them a duty for their labour and pain for bringing us into the world. Without them, we could not have been here in the 1st place. Not to mention, the countless times of comforting us when we fall, cry, hurt, and soo much more.

Without Ibu, I wouldn't even be here writing this post and I know this post was long since overdue but better late than never right? Hehe. While everyone on my social media sites are showing off their appreciation post with gift and such for their respective mothers, I'm only here capable of just give her a simple wish instead, but I do intend to make it special and soo I did this! ^_^

And some family selfie collages along the way.

Seriously, there should be a photo frame of this, so that I could put it on my room. Hahaha

It isn't much but, you truly had no idea of how hard it is to get those personal selfies from my 3 others siblings. Considering us, guys dont really selfie that much ( especially Ayah and my big bro) and to get even a single picture with a good smile on the face is actually really hard. They don't even have social media accounts and hardly share any photo of themselves makes it harder. Anyhow, I'm kinda glad that I got a good 1 from each of them and its good to see they are cooperating with me ( walaupun kena paksa kan, hahaha ). The most interesting would probably, Zarif (youngest) had to use selfie stick for him since his hands are too small to press the button. Hahaha, getting him to smile was actually priceless. 

Oh well, the saddest part for me would probably me, not able of returning home since there's like tonnes of work on my place and there are not a single holiday whatsoever throughout the week Its really hectic and to be honest, we went over 15 hours of work time/ a day. O_O The workloads are piling up and some of us started to develop panda eyes because lack of sleep. But you know what they said " Bersusah-susah dahulu, bersenang-senang kemudian " ^_^ im pretty much sure my salary this month would be triple the amount rather than the usual. Hahaha. But anyhow, health do comes first and I never once forget about that. :) Lets pray so that I could survive these month with ease. Hehe.

And of course, to all going-to-be mothers and mothers of all ages....

A future letter

I actually found this somewhere around facebook and so I was thinking of writing something about this or maybe a blogpost about it. I wasn't so sure at first and felt a little bit anxious to write about it until a friend of mine directly dm-med me and eventually challenged me to write it. Soo I did! :P ^_^.

This is sooooo not like me to write something like this out of in the open but come to think of it, maybe I should just go with it and let my heart opens up its doors sometimes. Who knows? Maybe someday, when I eventually found "The One" I could just let her read this.


Would that be sweet kan?
( habis la korang dalat diabetes la nanti baca post nie hahaha)

Soo, here goes...

Dear future wife, whoever and wherever you are atm kan..

I don't know if I met you already of if god will cross our paths sometime in the future. But I'm doing my best to live according to God's will, so I can't imagine who the girl is that he has aside for me. If you wish to know, life has been hard on me these days. I had to endure a lot of obstacles and thank god, with His Guidance, I am doing fine at the moment. Likewise, I hope you too are fine.

I know that you will be an amazing, strong-willed woman, so I'm kinda excited to grow with you in spiritual way. I pray that whatever difficult trials you are going through right now, Allah bless you with the faith and confidence to push through. I pray that Allah will kept you forever in his protection. Please don't waste your time and love for someone who don't appreciate it. :( I wanted you to know that you are very special and you should know that your heart and feelings doesn't deserved to be played by such people. It is very valuable and to be honest, it actually pains me to see you cry over someone who doesn't appreciate your love and efforts. Keep being strong on both mental and physical okay? Do dress nicely and don't forget to cover your aurat at all times alright? Heee ^_^

If you wish to know, I am currently working my heart and my mind ready for you. I often wonder why it has been so many years and yet I still haven't caught a glimpse of you. Maybe Allah knows that I'm not ready for you. At least not now. He probably knew that I wouldn't be able to give my 100% and that is definitely not fair to you. However, I kept praying day and night in hopes that I did meet you as soon as possible and I am currently putting my efforts at the moment, so please be patient. Wherever you are, if you are sad. I am truly sorry that I couldn't be there to comfort you in your problems but do remember 1 thing. Allah is always there to be with you. He is the best listener afterall ^_^

Deep down inside, I truly wish that you could be here whenever I felt down. It has been really hard without you and to be honest, I was quite upset that you seem to be taking a long time to appear in my life. :( Where have you been? Huwaaa~~~ :( Wherever you are, I really hope you are doing well. Despite all of these, I believe that Allah had planned the best for his people and I strongly hold on to that. I seem to kept repeating myself huh? I'm sorry.

All in all eventhough, I never met you now or did I? :O You should know that I missed you a lot and I promised I will make you the happiest woman and love you forever ^^. Bukankah itu tugas seorang suami? 😄 Even if it takes me 1000 years to met you, I'll promised Ill be here waiting. Soo till that day comes, please take good care of yourself, okay sayang? ^_^ hehehe