Penyakit kronik aku!?

I came to realise that I have been suffering this 1 disease after all this years but I just didn't know the right term for it. It has been awhile and to be honest, it kinda affects me in everyday basis since its basically involves relationships with people. I don't really know what is the correct term for it until my friend texted me..

Yeah altruism! O_O

Okay first of all, you guys must be wondering what does this " altruism " means right? Well, I try to make it as simple as possible. Altruism is the belief in or practice of disinterested and selfless concern for the well-being of others. In other words, selflessness. Kinda like over caring for somebody of some sort but its not it.

Hahaha, I know I know. Sorry about the title, yeah its misleading, same goes for others misleading links title out there haha, okay2 its soo unlike me huh? Hahaha, Gurau doh sorry2 hehe.

Most people sees it as a good thing but to me its a little bit different. Different as in bad or good you might say? Its bad. Well kinda.

I probably would say its bad because sometimes I put others way ahead of myself instead of my own resulting in me being easily used and stepped on. Several times it has been this way for me actually, where I am being too generous, too kind, too soft, too laid back on doing important stuffs, too bertolak ansur for somebody without thinking of my own responsibilities. I guess this is the bad side of altruism where literally if you met the wrong people, they could take advantage of your kindness. Its between the good and the bad crowd. I ought to remind myself to always be careful when choosing your friends.

Come to think of it, I have been like this since I was around 18 where I began joining this NGO organisation in my diploma days where we conduct visits elderly home, do some random charity, raised some funds, conducting activites held by the organisation and those petty stuffs you see. Now, Im working soo I kinda missed those times. Theres hardly any free daytime for me ever since and I don't even know any NGO here to join.

Altruism, hmmmm. I don't really know how to explain it further, but to me when I see people express their words of gratitude or even smile because of something that I do. I got this an urge of satisfaction and that alone literally would made my day better. Its not an act to be likeable by the society nor do I making a name of myself by doing as such. Its just a simple good deed. Who knows? Maybe this type of stuffs that I do would instils good behaviours to today's society kan. Would that be awesome? Hehe, its all about spreading love anyway ^_^