Death Timer

As I walk by towards a stall at a night market nearby here, a car from behind suddenly hit the tent of the stall. Lights and wires that were hung up between the steel roof of the tent were falling down and I quickly duck to avoid an injury to happen to my head when the tent slowly losing its balance. As a result I hurt my knee and my watch were damaged due to a hit on the road.

Frustrated and still manage to maintain sabar due to all that situation, I went home preparing for break fast. As I look back towards my damaged watch, I realized that, the watch was actually my 4th for the year. Its weird when I think that, most of my stuffs or anything that was given to me got damaged rather easily. Even my mum noticed this due to multiple times she gave stuffs to me and that stuffs didn't last for long.

I tried my hardest to take care of them but I guess I was unfortunate to have accidents happen to me involving breaking my valued belongings. At some point, I beginning to think it was a curse. Even so, my parents and siblings would usually deemed me as careless and clumsy. I know I'm not what they said I am and I tried to prove to them that I'm not but I always fail again and again. I beginning to think that the things I held practically some sort of a death timer.

Wouldnt it be good for us to know when a certain things death would be? Or is it the other way around? I guess if we did knew, we probably be under appreciate it and started to do so until the last minute. I guess it would be fine for inanimate objects. What if we knew our own life's death timer?

Like when will we die, how, what cause, why and all of those. What if we knew all that? Will we be missed? Will we be remembered? Are we satisfied of what we leave behind for future generation? Will our beloved be okay with when the time comes? It will be a completely new situation wouldn't it?

I'm sorry. I had my overthinking took over me for today and hence this post came up. Again, I'm just letting it out of my mind for awhile. Anyhow, I found this really sad iklan for the upcoming Eidulfitri. Please take a look it is really good.

Selamat Menyambut Ramadhan To All My Muslim Readers out there. 

Sorry for the late posts.

Will post more later~ <3

One and Only

Have you ever met someone that surprised you? Like you meet this person and at first you hardly pay any attention to them. You may not be at all attracted to this person but as you get to know them, you notice yourself falling. This person, who was once nothing to you has suddenly become everything. All of the sudden, they're the most beautiful person you've ever met. Its just funny looking back. You never saw it coming, its just kind of..... happened.

Does things like this happened to you guys? No? Too bad. Well, dont worry that particular person be around sooner or later. Hahaha I guess it happen to everyone at some point of our life. Love is indeed a mystery. What's interesting is that most of the time, it catches us all off guard without any warning. Even for me, I admit I fell down on my feet because of love.

Sooo now, ladies and gentlemen, I wanna tell you a love story about mine. Soo better duduk siap2 amik popcorn masing2 and get ready for a ride. Hahaha.

As you are all informed, I played my piano for quite sometime and I am quite good at it but the thing is that only few people knew of this. I didn't really record or post it anywhere on the social media because I am shy. She has been a friend of mine from quite sometime and that one day I was bored and tried to cover a few popular songs like Surat Cinta Untuk Starla by Virgoun and When You're Gone by Avril Lavigne.

I didnt think it was quite good but when I gave the recordings of me playing to her. She was surprised and she said she never thought that I was that good. I was bored at the time and somehow wanted people to rate me playing. I'm not sure myself as to why I choose her out of all people. Hahaha.

Tu la orang cakap maybe jodoh kan. 

Anyhow, it was all good and fun, when the 4th time I gave my songs cover to her, she said the appreciation words that I always wanted to hear all my life. She expressed her feelings to me as if I had done something so meaningful to her all this time. Hearing that, I fell for her right away. From that point, I excitingly began learning a few more songs, played it the best as I can and made it into a cover and gave it to her for hearing. I'm like totally being like a child who tries really hard to impress a parent over something. Its funny when I thought of it back because I did it on a whim while having good fun at the same time. Her words of encouragement is actually what kept me going and giving me strength to do what I do best.

We began to keep in touch and share out our stories to each other. It was all fun and amazing experience and we didn't even confessed to each other yet tho I somehow know that she felt the same way. You just knew you know, the way she talk and texts. It was kinda obvious. I do give her hints from time to time that I liked her, but as wonderful as she is, she's so lembab nak pickup and notice all the things I did for her. ( Hahaha, sorry syg )

Rasa nak headlock jer si dia nie. Geram. 

Until la that particular day, I decided to confess my feelings. I'm kinda aware that I might face a rejection to the face but what the heck, my heart at the time said that its now or never. She was surprised as if she never expected I would fall for someone like her. I'll be like...

Duh, I thought what I did was obvious, maybe not obvious enough kot. After all the awkward conversations of her verifying when why how what and with me answering all her questions she fired me, she suprisingly said..

At the time, Im like with the most blunt and cool-looking face ever said..

Okay la fine maybe not as cool as the way Obama's says it kan but still its something like that, HAHAHA, Im more like be like this from the inside...

Eventually during our course of relationship, we decided to meet each other and we sure took a lot of photos together alongside food-hunting as well as visiting museums and theme parks along the way. My expectation of her is beyond what I imagine and I fell for her even more, knowing that we share a lot of things in common and she enjoys food as much as I do. Hahaha

Too cute~ <3

Mee Besen Original Melaka

She came in Melaka for a few days and we went food hunting the moment she sets her foot here. We celebrate her birthday on that particular day and went on to eat on Seoul Garden. Its funny like how most girls I hangout with they usually tend to acah2 control makan when eating in front of a guy. When it comes to her, nope. Hahahaha. No pretending no control2 ayu/handsome or what not. We ate a lot and it was really satisfying to see her enjoying her foods the same as I do. 

Anyhow, I am really grateful to find someone who has all the good and favourable traits that I loved soo much all in one. She is amazing and by far one of the most cheerful person I have ever met. Theres is not a single flaw I saw in her of yet and she was by far the best one I ever had. 

You know, I once had insecurities of myself when confessing to someone that you are sexually attracted to. When looking back, I had a lot of insecurities like my skin colour, my height, my overall looks and my body weight. Its not that attractive kot, and I damn well knew that if I'm so handsome, I wouldnt be single for soo many years since secondary school. Long story short, I wanted to change a little before seeing her at least but it was the thing she spoke off back then where she said... 

" I like you the way you are and I'll stay with you no matter how much you changed " 

That words of her alone. Already made me happiest guy ever. I guess for every guys or girls out there who was still struggling to find themselves a life partner. I guess the only best advice I can give is

" JUST BE YOURSELF "

I guess the end game now is to fight for this relationship till marriage kot. 

Oh before this have to tell my parents. Ibuuu!!! Sam dah jumpaaa daaa!! 

I am not Enough

Its been said that the greatest disease that's been affecting humanity is that feeling that "I am not enough". The feeling of "I am not enough" can only exist when you compare yourself to another and living your life by expectations that aren't your own.

Lets be honest, comparison is literally the thief of joy. Like for example, you just scored yourself a C in Chemistry, in which before in your life, you never scored anything above E. In that scenario, its only fair that you should be proud of yourself since you are better than you are before. Instead you compare yourself to a rival of yours who scored A+ in that particular subject, automatically you felt this feeling of dissatisfaction and inadequate.

Ill be honest that even I myself had this kind of feeling. Back then, I had this one academic rival at school and his name is Wan (not his real name). Wan has been proven to be all-time teacher's favorite student at school. He just excels in everything as far as I'm concerned. From sports to school competitions and even most school-club positions. Our exam results usually just really close to each other with me lacking the one behind. If he gets 90% I got like 80%. He was quite well known at school too and even my parents knew of him.

As usual, having strict Asian parents is really no joke. Academics results were like the only thing they care about and I was pretty much forced to focus on that and only that. As a result, I do excel in my studies but to feel inadequate and not recognized for the hard work that you put on by the teachers is something that troubles me. Its just Wan on the spotlight. Somehow at that point, I didn't even have 1 bit sense of gratefulness in me. Not until a friend of mine, Nassar came up to me and pat me on the back for my improvements. Nassar was the school running athelete and its funny how he compared my situations to a track race.

His words back then, really-really triggered me and of course knocked some sense into me. It was the best thing I got from him. It was hard to took him serious at first considering he the type who likes to jokes a lot but that one thing the thing I really need to boost my self-confidence. And now I wanted to inspire you guys too.

Often much people around me always complaining about themselves of being not adequate enough for things like work, relationship and other's life commitments when the truth is they improved but in a slow pace. My answers were simple. Comparing yourself to others is an insult to who you are. You are disrespecting yourself, hence getting you nowhere better than you are now.

I am not beautiful, I am not good, I am poor, I am this, I am that. This kind of thinking is dangerous for our mental health. Basically telling ourselves that over and over is like convincing that we are not going to be able to be more than what we are. Not to mention, you are not being grateful and insulting of who you really are when the better way is to figure out and improve. Often people I met had this kind of thinking and lets just say, it didn't really end well for them and their maturity level didn't really improved.

If you use a great person to measure where you are in life and where you can be, sure. There is not a lot wrong in that, but do not be attach to the result. The only result you should be attached to is the result of you being better than you are yesterday, last week, last month or even last year.

Set your own goal on the things that you personally wanted to achieve. Understand yourself at where you are at and try to improve yourself slowly. Everyone is different and everyone can win. You will never win if you set your eyes at another person. You win your race when you focus on your own finish line. You win in life being happy for others winning their race, you give your own heart and soul winning your own race. Its literally YOU vs YOU.

The battle is won or lost in your own mind.  Its an insult to who you are going to be. You are better than that and therefore, you are unique and that will always be your greatest power. That will always separate you from the rest. So be you! Focus on you! Focus on growing you! Developing you! Mastering your own strength! Winning your own race. If others win their race, great! We are all here to win. What most people don't know that when that moment you support others, support will come back to you. Don't go out to prove them wrong. Get out there to prove yourself right!