Geez don't laugh. They said jodoh tak ke mana but its not like we can just rely on fate alone without making any real efforts for it betul tak? In Malay proverb, its like menunggu bulan jatuh ke riba in which the literal translation would be " waiting for moon to fall to your lap " simply meaning waiting for the impossible. Yeah, I know right? Malay proverbs are that weird but it does makes sense when you think of it hard enough.
Well, I'll be honest that I actually gave this love-experience-thingy a try because duh, nanti orang cakap tak ada pengalaman pulak and at least, you try to learn from your past mistakes and sooo on kan? tapi sadly enough, I lost the war and eventually came out heartbroken and getting rejected left and right. The pain is really unbearable especially when you couldn't get her out of your head every freaking time you woke up every morning. Its really soul-torturing to the point that it truly feels like being stabbed by hundreds of needles over and over constantly everyday of the week, Surely such pain is nothing compared to the poverty, famine and warfare in some parts of the world but comparing the degree of their pain to mine doesn't makes it any less better betul tak?
In the end, pain is still pain, and it hurts the most especially when it involving emotions. Since human emotions are related to a person's thought process, the dreaded feeling just get multiplied over and over. In fact, its getting worse day by day for me since I'm the type of person who over-think a lot and not to mention, that I do listen to love songs from time to time and these things just came circulating like a race car in a race track circle. Haih, if only I could rewind time, I would have advised my past-self to just never ever try loving someone who doesn't give a damn about you. Tapi kan, if you never try, you never know. Experience teaches and as much as I hate to admit it, it was through pain. The pain through emotional distress. Right now, I fully understand that such pain exist for a reason,
But nevertheless, I constantly kept myself in an enormous amount of comfort in believing what Ustazah Maznah, my secondary school teacher, once said to me "When Allah puts you through His ordeals and tribulations, that means He misses your voice praying to Him. He misses listening to your plea" I guess my prayers are now the next best thing I could give her from a far right now.
In any case, this year was a year of both mischief and enjoyment for me but such things is actually fine by me. Truthfully, I learnt a lot and at the same time picked up an amount of good moral values and succeeded in implementing them within myself as well!
My close friends on the other hand, did realize how I have changed over the years. It goes..
From being high-tempered person to an expert in anger management control
From being impetuous in my speech to being wary and thoughtful before spouting words.
From super lazy to a little less lazy ( but still lazy tho ).
From being petty to a slightly open-minded person.
From unreliable to a more dependable person ( but not to the point of being a pushover )
From immature to mature in my works.
From being forgetful to a little bit alert on my surroundings
From impatient to a guy who always calm ( still working on it sebenarnya )
From not being on time to a guy who is punctual.
From being messy to a more organised person in life.
From looking sorrowful and glommy to an overall optimist ( not too optimistic )
and of course when any misfortune happen upon me, I tried to be positive together with sabar, usaha and tawakkal through all His ordeals and tribulations.
Theres lots! But the most important thing is from being an emo-boy to a more like happy-go-lucky type of person. In fact, I learnt that whatever you do around you, you have to be willing and joyous in 1st place. After that, anything that you do would be at ease. That's my secret I guess. Hehe.
In any case, this year was a year of both mischief and enjoyment for me but such things is actually fine by me. Truthfully, I learnt a lot and at the same time picked up an amount of good moral values and succeeded in implementing them within myself as well!
My close friends on the other hand, did realize how I have changed over the years. It goes..
From being high-tempered person to an expert in anger management control
From being impetuous in my speech to being wary and thoughtful before spouting words.
From super lazy to a little less lazy ( but still lazy tho ).
From being petty to a slightly open-minded person.
From unreliable to a more dependable person ( but not to the point of being a pushover )
From immature to mature in my works.
From being forgetful to a little bit alert on my surroundings
From impatient to a guy who always calm ( still working on it sebenarnya )
From not being on time to a guy who is punctual.
From being messy to a more organised person in life.
From looking sorrowful and glommy to an overall optimist ( not too optimistic )
and of course when any misfortune happen upon me, I tried to be positive together with sabar, usaha and tawakkal through all His ordeals and tribulations.
Theres lots! But the most important thing is from being an emo-boy to a more like happy-go-lucky type of person. In fact, I learnt that whatever you do around you, you have to be willing and joyous in 1st place. After that, anything that you do would be at ease. That's my secret I guess. Hehe.
Okay ah tu kan? Tepuk tangan ah sikit haha.
Uish! Macam tak ikhlas je :(. Okay la whatever la, who cares kan? Anyway, despite all the struggles I'm having right now, I am still able to smile. I am okay jangan risau. Its not like I'm going to do something stupid like suicide ke apa kan haha. Well, if that doesnt earn your trust then maybe this will...
Panjang sangat dah rambut tu
Hahaha, ignore my messy hair. I will probably get my haircut sooner or later. Thats just show how desperate I am to show you guys that I'm okay. Hehe.. Anyway, I do hope that whoever read this post, pray for me that I'll continue to be both strong mentally and physically in overcoming the struggles of life and in return I pray that everyone who reads this post be eternally showered with the blessings of Allah.
There! I feel soo much better now! Thanks for reading. Appreciate it lots!
Panjang sangat dah rambut tu
There! I feel soo much better now! Thanks for reading. Appreciate it lots!
