Reality

Reality of life has been hitting me several times in the back and been sweeping of my feet many times in these past few weeks. I am officially 25, if you count it my year, to be honest, I am kinda scared.

Okay la gurau, its not as exaggerating as that haha

Why? And scared of what?

I'm actually scared of not hitting my goals in my life. Many friends and people around me that I know got married and having some sort of huge savings and harta at my age. Looking at those people, I often compared them to myself. Like what are the flaws that I made to make me achieve my goal relatively late compared to others? What are their secrets in having such a good money management? How did they go travel sana-sini at such a young age, as if they have 1 million dollars in they banks? Did they pay their PTPTN / MARA like I do? Didn't they saved money like I did? Did they make personal loans? Did they borrow from their parents? Did they have some sort of high-pay salary?

These questions kept lingering in my head from time to time. At some point, I do feel like how do you made enough money and still manage to buy this and that and still looks happy as if you have nothing to worry. I am confused as well as jealous of these people.

I do plan on getting married and when I look back at my savings, I actually have doubts onto myself. I am not sure if I could pulled it off. I'm not even sure if its enough to pay for the dowry (hantaran) not to mention for the ceremony, the catering and soo on. There were so much things to pay, and when I do the calculation of my monthly savings. It shocked me a little.

It will probably took me more than 3 years to get all that done. I do searched on the internet on how to make a 2nd income, and it does helped me a little. Nevertheless, I am afraid. Afraid of not meeting expectations. I have disappoint many people in my life before but I cant afford to disappoint myself because of my own weakness. How I wish I was a kid again, ya know. Not to worry bout these things, not to worry about anything. 

At times like these, I felt like being in the Marvel Universe, get the Time stone from Doctor Strange and just reverse myself out of time. Hahaha. Would that be cool huh? 

But lets be honest, I would totally find myself abusing the stone from time to time. 

OR

Maybe a reality stone kan, creating money out of existence muahahaha

All jokes aside, I am working so hard in getting to my goals as I planned. I even found some ways on the net that I googled for me to generate a 2nd income that could help me from time to time. I guess sometimes its good to compare yourself to others, just so that I have more semangat to achieve what I wanted. I just hope everything will work out at the end.