The One?

She was a fair, lovely, beautiful, proper-dressed, soft-spoken, patient, ambitious and determined person I have ever met before. Its rare to meet someone with all these qualities altogether. We met face to face before where one day she accidentally left her belongings at a restaurant near my place. With her identification card and her telephone number in my hands, I called her and by the time I did so, it was too late since she was already on her way to Perak in attending a seemingly important meeting between hospital staffs and their higher ups. It didn't take long, and our relationship began getting closer and closer, day by day. It all began from exchanging calls, messages and even personal information.

Even the most corny jokes she said just seem so humorous and to be honest, I can't believed I actually laugh at that. I don't know. Maybe its just me being too friendly on meeting a stranger for the 1st time. Honestly, it didn't took long for me to like her since she seems so innocent, which is one of the characteristics that I really liked the most. O_O

Everyday seems so beautiful eventho it was raining and thunderstorms all over the place on my side, everything just seems so proper and at that point onwards, I known that I fell in love with her. I felt that maybe she was THE ONE and I'm pretty much certain that she is. Everytime we texted to each other, she was the one that always remind me to kept her name in my prayers. I did as she said. More than 5 times a day. If you are at my place, when you did something like this, its impossible to not feel a single thing to other person,

Every time she gets herself on a trouble financial-wise. I would be there to bust her way out. Though at times, It does costs a lot but you see, love really are magical. At times, it does make people go blind. I was that idiot who fell that way without realising that it will come bite me in the butt later. However, I overlooked that on purpose eventually knowing that what I did was out of pure compassion and sincere. I was truly at fault cause being at such position for the first time was something really new to me. I acted without anybody knowing that I blindly follow the instructions of the girl. Though at times I feel like I was casted by some sort of weird spell and whats funny I even asked her " awak ada pernah sihir saya ke apa ke? Kenapa sy asyik teringat kat awak nie!? -_- " jokingly replied to her text.

From that point on, she told me a lot about herself. How she lived her life, her family, how she lost her father when she was 6, her loyal friends, her failed attempts on her previous love-life, her works and position,  how her co-workers are confessing love towards her, her attempts on gathering enough money for her family for Eidulfitri, about her 2 jobs and of course her being an agent to her dropship stuffs. The more and more she told me about herself, the more I felt pity on her. If theres one thing that I glad is that, she made me reflected a lot on life. Made me relieved to not be on her shoes and grateful for the life that I had now. We texted almost every single day, doing the usuals, talking about how lifes being a pain onto one another, exchanging information about ourselves and stuffs. The usuals you see.

Day by day continues, and I eventually gathered my guts and confessed my feelings towards her. I knew sooner or later I just had to do that and that feeling is something that I really need to get it out of my chest.
I betted that it was now or never and so I did! She was surprised and at the time, I felt like I was between life and death. The chills on my spine just keep being there none-stop and it goes down straight to my fingertips. Even my fingers are staggering and it was really bad. Typing on my phone felt like I was having some kind of minor seizures. I waited patiently for her answer and she didn't answer the question and in fact she never give a straight answer and that alone made me confused until now.

Somehow at that moment, I felt relieved since she didn't respond with a bad answer but at the same time, I was curious. I was curious and anxious to know where did I stand in her life and frankly, I felt if I ever got rejected. I would have moved on with my life and of course, I wouldn't ever bring myself lower to bother her again. Its called self-respect! I mean geez why would I? People don't like you so move on! Somewhere in my mind, I felt that our feelings are mutual. What gives it away? It was the way she responded. Its like a person whose flirting you know? Like its not the normal best-friends-forever reply. No its not that at all!! Tho, it does felt weird to me since its not everyday I encounter something like this.

Personally, I really loved a person who is honest and be straightforward on anything. People like that are hard to comeby and usually these people might sometimes hurt you verbally but its better to know about your flaws rather than being blind about it, correct? Be honest and its simple. Don't like it? Say it. Like me? Confess it. Made a fault? Apologize about it. Want something? Approach and propose it. Hate me? Speak about my flaws so that I can improve as a lowly human that I am. I know I am not perfect, but its human nature. We all wanted to be perfect so lets help and build towards one another in any ways possible. Its called self-enrichment-towards-others. Its. Just. That. Simple!

Yeah! You right! Looks actually isn't everything and what I love most about people is actually their attitude. For me that is like the most important thing ever. Looks will not last forever and what actually makes them truly beautiful is their attitude.

Despite our not-so-official relationship, being honest and straightforward was the only thing she can't fulfil. Isn't that one of the most crucial thing ever? Isn't that the key to a happy relationship? To be open and to be frank about something? Heck, why would you even lie to begin with? To gain trust and sympathy? In the end, she actually confessed that she didn't liked me at all. I was actually cool with that but what I was mad about is she actually used me as her some kind of sugar-daddy. Asking me to pay for her car maintenance, asking me to buy her make-up, and eventually borrows a few money from me for her personal problems. Ughhh, my head gets dizzy just by thinking of how sly and innocent-looking she is with people around her. If they knew who she really is, I bet her life would have been in total misery. Anyway, after that point on, I realised that she was just keeping me under her tabs so that she probably go out with another guy. Clearly she isn't that type of person you want to make as wife.

Haih. Countless times it had this been this way for me. I would blindly give my trust to people, in hopes that they would take care of it as I would have done the same for them. Too bad, that today's generation of people are dangerous. Using others and getting used for their own benefits was actually something common. Maybe it was time that I give this Jodoh-finding-thing a short break. Don't worry, I moved on already. Tepuk la sikit weh hahaha. Lets just pray that someday, she get a well-deserved karma some time in her life.